My Fear of Flying

Ok. So, I have a huge, huge fear of flying. And I have issues with the fact that I have issues with flying..I don't like having the fear of it. I mean, I have some memorable horror stories of flights I have been on, but I also break out into a cold sweat even when the plane is just leveling out!!

Flying is by far my biggest fear and I have made it a point to search out the fear and deal with it. Here are some observations: I like to control (and I know this isn't godly). I understand fundamentally that a person has a greater chance of dying in a car crash than a plane crash, yet I have never hesitated getting behind the wheel. There is a sense of control there. When in a plane however, all seeming control is out of my hands. Next, when a plane "fails", that's it...the chance of surviving is slim to none. The fatal element of crashing in a plane is reality. Finally, knowing when you are going to die. Personally, I am very content to never know when I am going to die...having to stare that reality in its face in the midst of a tragedy on a plane is a little discomforting to me.

Recently, I have gotten better with flying. I still have issues, but it doesn't lead me to take drugs to fall asleep on planes and I have never gotten sick. But, its recently become a bigger issue for me again. You see, I live in a country that has "shaky" airplanes to say the least. One time, they flew a commercial plane into a mountain because they ran out of fuel..I mean, who does that? But all of this said, I feel that although fearing things may have some validity, unhealthy fear has no place in a Believer's walk...this is an unhealthy fear....I mean I have no problem walking the streets of this dangerous country I reside in and I could fear that...so, what's the issue here?

My confession. I need your input, your help. One of my friends here says, "Its a win-win situation if your plane goes down." And I believe that, but for some reason I can't grasp that. Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions/etc.? Am I a control freak? Is it because I don't feel I'm ready to die? But, shouldn't all Believers be ready to die, not being attached to this world....What do you think?

The Proposal

The venue: Paris, France.
The day started off as any normal day would. I got up around 7am and felt fine. That would soon change as this day would sharply change the course of my life forever. The night before I arranged for certain things to happen and tied up a few loose ends that I could only tie up when in Paris. You see, we (her parents, her, and I) only arrived in the city at 5pm the previous night. I was franticly on the move from the first hour....

At 8am Christianne was awoken by a knock at her door. A nice lady delivered for a dozen pink roses with a note from me telling her to, "Meet me at 1245pm in the lobby. We are heading to the Tower." It was during this waiting time that the events of the day started to set in. My breathing patterns altered and I was having a surreal experience. I mean, I am 28 years old. At some point you begin to wonder if this day will ever happen.....But, alas, it was here and the excitement, pressure, etc. of the moment was setting in. I spent time with the Lord..praying, meditating, asking for His blessing. 1245 was upon me.

I had a private car waiting at the hotel. Christianne met me in the lobby and we headed to the Eiffel Tower. It was a windy day, with a little sprinkle in the air. We waited about an hour and a half to get into the site. It was worth the wait. We made our way to the top of the Tower, the place I had intended to "seize the moment". It was way too crowded there though. I desired a little more privacy, since I had wrote her a personal poem.

We made our way back to the "2nd floor", which is still pretty high up there. There we found a little bench, like a tailor made seat for a proposal. I told her to sit down and I read her my poem...it concluded with, "Christianne Felo, will you be my wife, and be mine for the rest of your life?" She said, "Yes!" At 315 pm local time I was engaged. I prayed for us right afterward, right there, and then we made our way back down. We got back to the hotel...

Her 2nd dozen roses were waiting in her room as we got back. They were white this time, with a note saying, "Meet me in the lobby at 7pm, and be wearing your best." I got ready for the night of our engagement. My body was in a tizzy. I was excited and emotional all day..I was shaking form the moment..it was a great feeling; a once in a lifetime feeling. 7pm was here.

She looked elegant and beautiful (but she always does) as she made her way to me. I even had a suit on!!! We met in the lobby where our exclusive transportation picked us up. We made our way to the Seine River (which cuts right through the middle of Paris). It was the nightcap of our thrilling day: A Dinner Cruise on the Seine River. We were promptly ushered on board and to our table right on the glass of the boat..the best view possible. We were treated to a fine 3 course meal, cheeses, live entertainment, and all the wine we wanted (obviously, we didn't take much advantage of that part!!). It ended at 11pm and we headed back to the hotel....

The day was winding down. Tomorrow I would wake up as an engaged man, and her as an engaged woman...but first, she had one last set of roses awaiting her. A dozen red roses. This time the note said, "To my fiance. These symbolize romance and love. I love you."

The day concluded.

She said she felt like a princess that day. That was my goal, and by the grace and power of God, I was able to deliver. Thank you Lord for love like this....

Christmas 2006

As Pastor Felo said.....Are you still AMAZED?

Part 2 -- "Without A Hitch"

The men. It went as smooth as the first show. Many locals showed up for the event. Again, the Lord shined His mercy and grace upon us....the show went off without a hitch. Even a newcomer, a baby camel, behaved itself. I was able to spend time and entertain some of my local friends.

Empowerment. As the day came to a close the whole expat community was filled with joy. No doubt, it was the result of the Spirit shining upon us all day! Never has an event created such a buzz..around local circles and expat circles.

May God's glory increase....

Part 1 -- "Flawless"

At around 10am local time the first of two installments of the Christmas play went off. This one was for the women. Over 220 local women crowded into the program. The show went off perfectly. All the prayers for animal cooperation, electrical cooperation, and the expat acting were answered by God.

Keep in mind that 2 years ago in this place, the name of Jesus could hardly be muttered. Now, God has led us to do a play on the birth of Jesus. "Outreach" was made evident as an expat man led a prayer to close the show and talked about "sacrifice"...you put the pieces together....it was a supernatural experience.

Praise God for this. Part one is over. Tonight, at 5pm local time, is part two...for the men.

May the name of the Lord reign in this place!

Living Nativity

At the end of this week, the Community here will be putting on a Christmas play. In it, the story of the birth of Jesus will be portrayed. I will be a shepard...I will even have live sheep to try to scurry around and control. We have released flyers, told all of our friends and acquaintances. We are preparing for around 600 people or so.....

This has potential to be huge! Although not dubbed an outreach event, as the Spirit leads there will be lots of sharing and dialogue.

Please pray for protection, guidance, humility, and grace.

May His name be glorified in this place!

Shake, Rattle, and....(What the heck was that!?!?!)

455 am. I was having a cool dream too. I thought it was part of my dream, but when I awoke I realized I was living it, not dreaming it. It was an earthquake. My house was shaking like something fierce. I initially thought it was one of two things: a missile or bomb that hit really close, like in my neighborhood (which isn't much of a stretch), or a bulldozer going through my yard. It ended up being neither, just an earthquake. I have never experienced an earthquake before so this was a first. Needless to say, I didn't fall back asleep on this night.

The rest of the early morning I spent praying for the people who may have been affected by the jolt, since most people have mud houses out here and roofs collapsing are a possibility, and I also spent time praising God. When you experience a partial or a full blown natural disaster you get perspective on the mightiness of God real quick. So, I really spent time praising God for His glory, power, and might.

This is bad theology, at least I think it is...but, nevertheless, as I sat in my bed experiencing my first ever earthquake a thought came across my mind....

Is God trying to get our attention; is He trying to say something?