Friday, February 23, 2007

My Fear of Flying

Ok. So, I have a huge, huge fear of flying. And I have issues with the fact that I have issues with flying..I don't like having the fear of it. I mean, I have some memorable horror stories of flights I have been on, but I also break out into a cold sweat even when the plane is just leveling out!!

Flying is by far my biggest fear and I have made it a point to search out the fear and deal with it. Here are some observations: I like to control (and I know this isn't godly). I understand fundamentally that a person has a greater chance of dying in a car crash than a plane crash, yet I have never hesitated getting behind the wheel. There is a sense of control there. When in a plane however, all seeming control is out of my hands. Next, when a plane "fails", that's it...the chance of surviving is slim to none. The fatal element of crashing in a plane is reality. Finally, knowing when you are going to die. Personally, I am very content to never know when I am going to die...having to stare that reality in its face in the midst of a tragedy on a plane is a little discomforting to me.

Recently, I have gotten better with flying. I still have issues, but it doesn't lead me to take drugs to fall asleep on planes and I have never gotten sick. But, its recently become a bigger issue for me again. You see, I live in a country that has "shaky" airplanes to say the least. One time, they flew a commercial plane into a mountain because they ran out of fuel..I mean, who does that? But all of this said, I feel that although fearing things may have some validity, unhealthy fear has no place in a Believer's walk...this is an unhealthy fear....I mean I have no problem walking the streets of this dangerous country I reside in and I could fear, what's the issue here?

My confession. I need your input, your help. One of my friends here says, "Its a win-win situation if your plane goes down." And I believe that, but for some reason I can't grasp that. Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions/etc.? Am I a control freak? Is it because I don't feel I'm ready to die? But, shouldn't all Believers be ready to die, not being attached to this world....What do you think?