A New Life

Parenting

This week I am speaking on parenting at my church. Having been through an adoption, passing of my father, divorce, and meeting my birth parents, I feel like I am tackling an issue that is important to my heart and to who I am, but also an issue that is hard….

It’s hard to ever really know if you have fully comprehended in your heart major trials and tribulations that happen in your life. I mean, I believe that I have gotten past these hard issues because of Jesus and time, but can you ever really know? I also believe that I have conquered my addiction to gambling through the Spirit, but every time I see a casino that thrilling sensation comes back…but, I just push it aside. Recently, the wifey and I went to the Jersey shore which was literally blocks away from Atlantic City. The casinos loomed large over the city and were never outta my line of sight. The urge to sit down at a table, or bet on the NBA playoffs came rushing back. I would say, no. I have a wife, a kid on the way now, and am a 30 year old adult..In my mind, I told myself, “grow up!!” Then, I would quickly think of something else, but inevitably my flesh would drift back as soon as I lost focus. By God’s grace I didn’t place a bet that weekend, and I have been gamble-free for a while now…but I know this is something I will always struggle with, at least for the foreseeable future…so back to my childhood. If gambling is till in battle between the world/flesh/Satan and the Spirit, how much more would my childhood identity issues?!?!?!? After all, my childhood is much more inherent to who I am. I then contemplate if I really have gained victory over this as well.

Maybe I will never know the answer. I do know one thing: because of my childhood I have always had this insatiable desire to be a good father. I believe this is one way God has redeemed me here on earth from this checkered past. I do know that full redemption, which I am looking forward to, will happen when I take my last breath, but also believe God intends to partially redeem my life story by being a father.

So, this Sunday I will be speaking on parenting. I have been studying a lot recently about parenting. I have talked to many Believers about the subject to further my understanding, have poured over the Scriptures, and listened to my Spirit….and it makes me think….you know, I love the way God works sometimes…he takes fishermen to be His disciples, reaches out to the outcasts of society, touches lepers, eats with heathens, makes covenants with sinners, rides into Jerusalem on a donkey, and has Grant Walsh give a sermon on parenting….God, you are amazing.

Turning 30 (and there's nothing I can do about it)

I'm turning 30 this week. The anticipation of this day has loomed large over me for a while now. It probably started back when I was 26, passing the big two five and on towards the big three oh. God has wired me as a person who reminisces much, and contemplates the past often. I like to see where God has taken me, where He is now in my life, and where He is going with me. But I have to admit, I have feared this day for a while. 30. 30 is a big milestone. Other milestones (in no particular order) include your first day of school, first day of high school, 16, 18, high school graduation, first day of college, 21, college graduation, 25, marriage, becoming a Follower (not just a Believer), and alas….30. I can say I have lived a full 30 years thus far. I can also say that many of those years were not living for God and done in vain. I only can thank Him and praise Him that He did not leave me dead to my sin, but that He redeemed and adopted me into His Family.

I feel like an adult now (and I am not sure how I feel about that..). And of course, one could say that adulthood happens at 18 or something, but I am talking about REAL adulthood. Maybe I was an adult at, say, 24, but only insomuch as I made decisions for myself, but I was still learning about myself. Although I do not believe learning about oneself is ever over, I do feel that I have a good, core understanding of my gifts, failings, and identity. Being a husband and a soon to be father only expounds the issue.

They say that life truly begins after 30. Should I believe them? When I was younger I knew it all, and they said I didn’t know it all..they were right. When I was younger I said I wanted to be rich, they told me that riches weren’t everything (or anything)…they were right. When I was younger and had my life all planned out, they told me “you never know”…they were right. But what about life beginning at 30, are they right about that? Well, if life truly begins at 30 then I am in for a heck of a ride. Because I liked my younger days, and they were definitely filled. Would I have changed a lot? Probably. But as THEY say, those events shaped me into the person I am today.

So, 30 here I come. But I will still look back. Back to high school football games, 3-on-3 basketball tournaments (in which my missed 15-foot jumper is still stuck in my head), summer camps, choir tours, Argentina, the Group, “I Got Five On It”, proms, car accidents, chromies, Independence Day, Taco Bell (every day), Wednesday nights, Ben/Julie/Kulia, arguing over sports teams (Go Devils, Cowboys, Cubs, and Wolves), Les/Tyler/James Mc/Lynch/Tiwa, The SCR, bouncing, Vegas, Conversion, Seminary, overseas/over there, my supporters, finding Sweet Baby, marriage, the baby….Yes, I will still look back. But I try not to look with a gazing eye, wishing for those times again because they were so good (who can argue that life revolving around Taco Bell, hanging with friends, not needing to make money, etc isn’t good??!??!…). But rather I will use those memories to reflect on the journey God has me on, what His purpose was in that, and how to learn from it….

My journey has reached 30. Thank you Lord.

Spirit vs. Flesh: Spiritual Gifts

Lately, addressing the issue of spiritual gifts has come up in my life. I can say that although I periodically have theological shifts, evangelism theory shifts, and callings, I have noticed that my spiritual gifts have remained constant, only changing in how I administer them.

One spiritual gift that I have that is not specifically laid out in Scripture is: encouragement. I have felt the Lord use this many times in my life and as I interact with others. I have come to see that this gift of encouragement generally comes from my overly optimistic view of life and of others. I have finally realized that this gift manifests itself in the Biblical gift of: exhortation. Exhorting can be both for admonishment and encouragement; for building up or confronting. Life has been a fascinating journey with this gift.

I would generally say that exhortation is my main gift, the one I am most comfortable with, the one that come naturally. Other gifts that I use here and there include: discernment (which can go hand in hand with exhortation) and shepherding.

Recently I have been enlightened about the severe nature of spiritual gifts. I hope that you who reads this will ponder and think about what I am about to say if you haven’t already…but, I am guessing you have all have thought about it before, and thus I pray this serves as a reminder of the battle between Spirit and flesh.

I remember recently times when I was exhorting. I was talking about the Scriptural example of Economical Jubilee. I went round and round with this guy, sometimes coming to agreement, sometimes not. In another example, I can remember exhorting a loved one to godly living. I have also exhorted Christian leadership back to a life of prayer. The list can go on and on. As I reflected back on these instances where I think I was using my spiritual gifts, what I realized is that I often slipped into the flesh when exhorting. I ended up sinning as a result of trying to administer a spiritual gift! This confounded me! I then began to realize that there is a fine line to administering our spiritual gifts for God’s glory, or Satan’s. I have learned a hard lesson. I have learned that if I do things without love, the Spirit, grace, mercy, the fruits of the Spirit, then even when I think I am using the gifts God gave me, I am actually denying Him, being self serving, and sinning because I am doing them in the flesh.

So, I can either exhort someone in love and Spirit to follow God, or exhort in judgment and sin of the flesh.

I can either discern the path of Truth thru the Spirit, or lead astray in the flesh.

I can either shepherd in humility and meekness of the Spirit, or in the self-righteousness of the flesh.

God help me to overcome myself and administer gifts from your Spirit of love and give me eyes, wisdom, and a oneness of your Spirit to know when I am slipping into my sinning flesh.

The Priesthood of All Believers

I am reading a book called, “Pagan Christianity,” by George Barna. The book has rocked my world. Some of the book challenges me, some I disagree with, some I label irrelevant, and some makes me sit and ponder. I do know this….I have this unsettling, gnawing at my soul about how church is done now. This book confirmed those feelings, but also showed me that there are others (and not just on the margins of life, but in the “mainstream”) who are battling the same types of feelings. It’s comforting to know that many are dissatisfied.

One of the biggest areas that I feel needs to be addressed inside and outside of the church is that of IDENTITY. Identity plays a huge role in Scripture and the full meaning of it will never be realized this side of heaven, but the implications of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in our lives are immeasurable. Yet, most people are not taught, not enlightened, not engaged, in what it truly means to be a child of God, born of the Spirit, a new creation. Barna taps on this issue in regards to how we do church….

‘The term ‘laity’ is one of the worst in the vocabulary of religion and ought to be banished from Christian conversation.” –Karl Barth

One of the most illuminating, life-giving realizations I came to know when I decided to follow Jesus was the idea of the “priesthood of all Believers”. I understood this to mean that because we now have God dwelling within our hearts (the Holy Spirit), that we were now a “new creation” set apart for God to do His work. This has not been happening in what we call church today. Most Evangelical churches have a pastor (a trained person, usually a man) who stands above everyone on a platform, before up to thousands of people, telling them about the Word of God, God Himself, etc. The audience sits passively and listens, never administering gifts as each has. This type of “church” practice only enhances laziness, apathy, and ineptness. We come to church and are told when to sit, when to stand, when and how to sing (led by a “professional” music director), and then are taught (by a pastor – a professional). And NEVER does anyone interject during a sermon to offer further insight, further relevance, or personal experience/wisdom.

How can something be the “church” when we can come into it and sit passively for up to 2 hours or so and go back home without expressing ourselves? We have been deceived by Satan into these ideas of laity and clergy. The clergy basically monopolizes the church service. It simply isn’t Biblical.

One time I was talking about spiritual things with some people and the conversation went in such a way that some spiritual wisdom was needed. Someone then said to me, “You are the one who went to Seminary, you should answer….”

What if we all truly believed in our hearts that because of what Jesus did, and because of the gift of the Holy Spirit, that we had something more to offer than just showing up at church? What if the church was meant to be all inclusive, each administering gifts as they have been given? What if the church truly integrated all people? What kind of church would we have? This is what I ask, what I seek.

Not Anti-God, But Almost-God

"Most of the ugliness in the human narrative comes from a distorted quest to possess beauty. Coveting begins with appreciating blessings. Murder begins with a hunger for justice. Lust begins with a recognition of beauty. Gluttony begins when our enjoyment of the delectable gifts of God starts to consume us. Idolatry begins when our seeing a reflection of God in something beautiful leads to our thinking that they beautiful image bearer is worthy of worship."

Claiborne and Haw, "Jesus for President".

Why I Left the Republican Party, but Didn't Become a Democrat: The Seamless Garment

The seamless garment is a prominent but puzzling symbol in John’s Gospel. The soldiers cast lots for this garment so they would not have to tear it since “the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from the top” (John 19:23). This seamless garment, like the seamless net (21:11), seems to be a symbol of unity or oneness, the unity that Jesus brought and calls us to live out. The late Joseph Cardinal Bernardin used the seamless garment as an image for a unified or consistent ethic of life. This image challenges us to have a seamless respect for life from the womb to the tomb. This is my story.

A “consistent ethic of life.” This was the resounding word I heard from Scripture, from God, as I embarked down this journey of transformation. Instead of gripping to 2 life issues: abortion and gay marriage, I also found that the Bible had to say a lot about other life issues, such as: war, poverty, capital punishment, euthanasia, universal health care, immigration, nuclear weapons, the environment, racism, AIDS, the poor, the maimed, the widow, and the orphan. When I was younger I saw abortion and gay marriage as the crux of my foundation in which I chose my candidate, or party. I also focused on ultra conservative economic principles like capitalism, consumerism, and the trickle down theory. Then it all changed.

Now I am trying to formulate a biblical, God-fearing approach to how I live my life out in the practical day to day and for the locus of my morals and ethics. So, not only do I stand on moral principles to guide my pro-life platforms and traditional marriage/family platforms, but I also stand on the platform that tells me that it is uncompassionate and inexcusable when thousands of Christians believe in the saying, “God helps those who help themselves”. That when millions upon millions live in the world without access to water, it is a life issue. That it is also a life issue when a country who holds a fraction of the world’s population uses 40% of its resources. It’s a life issue when 6 million children die a year due to malnutrition/starvation related diseases, when 4/10 of 1% of the US budget is used to address world poverty (and guess how much goes to war…), when 47 million people have no health care coverage, when corporate executive incomes are 400x higher than the average worker, when 3.5 million people experience homelessness every year, and 20% of those are military veterans (talk about hypocrisy).

As God widened my understanding of who He is and what He calls for He began developing in me a holistic approach to applying His Word into practice. No longer did I stand only in the gaps of the Religious Right's unbalanced approach to ethical issues. I now understand that life issues are more than just abortion and gay marriage, and as I was finding this out, it hit me like a dear in the headlights that I was no longer a Republican, yet not becoming a Democrat. I realized that as one author puts it (paraphrase)...Republicans draw lines that are never meant to be crossed and that's a good thing, and Democrats erase lines that never should have existed, and that's a good thing. I was somewhere lodged in the middle, hoping to stand with an Evangelical minority (which is fastly becoming a majority), to stand up for what Jesus calls for and to show our "leaders" that this is what we stand for. I say this minority is becoming a majority because as Barna, a leader in Christian research, has just said, "One of the most reliable constituencies of the Republican Party in recent years has been born again Christians. Our latest national survey of likely voters, however, shows that the Republican Party has lost the allegiance of many born again voters. The November election is truly up for grabs - and if the election were held today, most born again voters would select the Democratic Party nominee for president, whoever that might be." We are truly witnessing a shift within Christian ranks to the middle. I am in those ranks.

I don't believe in abortion. I stand against gay marriage. I believe we are to be good stewards of the earth. I believe everyone bears the image of God, even enemies of the United States. I believe we are to take care of the poor, the lame, the widow, and the orphan. I believe no one should go to bed hungry. I believe water should be accessible to everyone. I believe if we say someone else cant have nuclear weapons, then we cant have nuclear weapons. I believe in alternative energy. I believe in gun control. I believe that the Bible says we are all pilgrims and strangers to this earth and that we should embrace strangers when they come into the land, and that we will be judged by how we treat them. I believe that every person should have access to health care. I believe no one should be homeless. I believe minimum wage should be increased. I believe consumerism and big business are inherently evil in that they divide allegiances (see Jesus' statement of God versus mammon). I believe corporate executives and boards should be ashamed of themselves. I believe the "American Dream" is tragically flawed and leads to death. I believe all of these things and more..and that makes me neither Democrat, nor Republican.

I leave this post with this entry:

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I life my lamp beside the golden door." -Statue of Liberty