This week I am speaking on parenting at my church. Having been through an adoption, passing of my father, divorce, and meeting my birth parents, I feel like I am tackling an issue that is important to my heart and to who I am, but also an issue that is hard….
It’s hard to ever really know if you have fully comprehended in your heart major trials and tribulations that happen in your life. I mean, I believe that I have gotten past these hard issues because of Jesus and time, but can you ever really know? I also believe that I have conquered my addiction to gambling through the Spirit, but every time I see a casino that thrilling sensation comes back…but, I just push it aside. Recently, the wifey and I went to the Jersey shore which was literally blocks away from Atlantic City. The casinos loomed large over the city and were never outta my line of sight. The urge to sit down at a table, or bet on the NBA playoffs came rushing back. I would say, no. I have a wife, a kid on the way now, and am a 30 year old adult..In my mind, I told myself, “grow up!!” Then, I would quickly think of something else, but inevitably my flesh would drift back as soon as I lost focus. By God’s grace I didn’t place a bet that weekend, and I have been gamble-free for a while now…but I know this is something I will always struggle with, at least for the foreseeable future…so back to my childhood. If gambling is till in battle between the world/flesh/Satan and the Spirit, how much more would my childhood identity issues?!?!?!? After all, my childhood is much more inherent to who I am. I then contemplate if I really have gained victory over this as well.
Maybe I will never know the answer. I do know one thing: because of my childhood I have always had this insatiable desire to be a good father. I believe this is one way God has redeemed me here on earth from this checkered past. I do know that full redemption, which I am looking forward to, will happen when I take my last breath, but also believe God intends to partially redeem my life story by being a father.
So, this Sunday I will be speaking on parenting. I have been studying a lot recently about parenting. I have talked to many Believers about the subject to further my understanding, have poured over the Scriptures, and listened to my Spirit….and it makes me think….you know, I love the way God works sometimes…he takes fishermen to be His disciples, reaches out to the outcasts of society, touches lepers, eats with heathens, makes covenants with sinners, rides into Jerusalem on a donkey, and has Grant Walsh give a sermon on parenting….God, you are amazing.