Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Turning 30 (and there's nothing I can do about it)

I'm turning 30 this week. The anticipation of this day has loomed large over me for a while now. It probably started back when I was 26, passing the big two five and on towards the big three oh. God has wired me as a person who reminisces much, and contemplates the past often. I like to see where God has taken me, where He is now in my life, and where He is going with me. But I have to admit, I have feared this day for a while. 30. 30 is a big milestone. Other milestones (in no particular order) include your first day of school, first day of high school, 16, 18, high school graduation, first day of college, 21, college graduation, 25, marriage, becoming a Follower (not just a Believer), and alas….30. I can say I have lived a full 30 years thus far. I can also say that many of those years were not living for God and done in vain. I only can thank Him and praise Him that He did not leave me dead to my sin, but that He redeemed and adopted me into His Family.

I feel like an adult now (and I am not sure how I feel about that..). And of course, one could say that adulthood happens at 18 or something, but I am talking about REAL adulthood. Maybe I was an adult at, say, 24, but only insomuch as I made decisions for myself, but I was still learning about myself. Although I do not believe learning about oneself is ever over, I do feel that I have a good, core understanding of my gifts, failings, and identity. Being a husband and a soon to be father only expounds the issue.

They say that life truly begins after 30. Should I believe them? When I was younger I knew it all, and they said I didn’t know it all..they were right. When I was younger I said I wanted to be rich, they told me that riches weren’t everything (or anything)…they were right. When I was younger and had my life all planned out, they told me “you never know”…they were right. But what about life beginning at 30, are they right about that? Well, if life truly begins at 30 then I am in for a heck of a ride. Because I liked my younger days, and they were definitely filled. Would I have changed a lot? Probably. But as THEY say, those events shaped me into the person I am today.

So, 30 here I come. But I will still look back. Back to high school football games, 3-on-3 basketball tournaments (in which my missed 15-foot jumper is still stuck in my head), summer camps, choir tours, Argentina, the Group, “I Got Five On It”, proms, car accidents, chromies, Independence Day, Taco Bell (every day), Wednesday nights, Ben/Julie/Kulia, arguing over sports teams (Go Devils, Cowboys, Cubs, and Wolves), Les/Tyler/James Mc/Lynch/Tiwa, The SCR, bouncing, Vegas, Conversion, Seminary, overseas/over there, my supporters, finding Sweet Baby, marriage, the baby….Yes, I will still look back. But I try not to look with a gazing eye, wishing for those times again because they were so good (who can argue that life revolving around Taco Bell, hanging with friends, not needing to make money, etc isn’t good??!??!…). But rather I will use those memories to reflect on the journey God has me on, what His purpose was in that, and how to learn from it….

My journey has reached 30. Thank you Lord.


Anonymous said...

Right on buddy! I'm not 30 yet but unlike many, I look forward to getting older. What a journey this is we're on and there's so much to look forward to. I'm even beginning to get some grey hair already! Distinguished look? I hope so : )
Love you brother!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe we almost missed the " Big ONE", well one of the Big One's anyway! : ) It's the 22nd isn't it. I remember talking to Kell about how we would celebrate your big 30 when you had just gone overseas, and yes so much has happened in your life, even since then. Craig and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary today, and I can say it only gets better! So much has happened, but would rather tell you over the phone. Big hugs to you, C and Baby W.
Again, we'll try and call you later this afternoon.
Love you all,
Carey fam

Joey said...

"who can argue that life revolving around Taco Bell, hanging with friends, not needing to make money, etc isn’t good??!??!"

Sorry to chime in six months late, I think that's against the rules or something, but being 30 has definitely thrown me for a loop. I don't know what's next, but all you can hope for is the best.

I think we love those old memories because we just didn't have to care as much back then. There was all the time in the world to get it right.

See you at 40.