Turning 30 (and there's nothing I can do about it)

I'm turning 30 this week. The anticipation of this day has loomed large over me for a while now. It probably started back when I was 26, passing the big two five and on towards the big three oh. God has wired me as a person who reminisces much, and contemplates the past often. I like to see where God has taken me, where He is now in my life, and where He is going with me. But I have to admit, I have feared this day for a while. 30. 30 is a big milestone. Other milestones (in no particular order) include your first day of school, first day of high school, 16, 18, high school graduation, first day of college, 21, college graduation, 25, marriage, becoming a Follower (not just a Believer), and alas….30. I can say I have lived a full 30 years thus far. I can also say that many of those years were not living for God and done in vain. I only can thank Him and praise Him that He did not leave me dead to my sin, but that He redeemed and adopted me into His Family.

I feel like an adult now (and I am not sure how I feel about that..). And of course, one could say that adulthood happens at 18 or something, but I am talking about REAL adulthood. Maybe I was an adult at, say, 24, but only insomuch as I made decisions for myself, but I was still learning about myself. Although I do not believe learning about oneself is ever over, I do feel that I have a good, core understanding of my gifts, failings, and identity. Being a husband and a soon to be father only expounds the issue.

They say that life truly begins after 30. Should I believe them? When I was younger I knew it all, and they said I didn’t know it all..they were right. When I was younger I said I wanted to be rich, they told me that riches weren’t everything (or anything)…they were right. When I was younger and had my life all planned out, they told me “you never know”…they were right. But what about life beginning at 30, are they right about that? Well, if life truly begins at 30 then I am in for a heck of a ride. Because I liked my younger days, and they were definitely filled. Would I have changed a lot? Probably. But as THEY say, those events shaped me into the person I am today.

So, 30 here I come. But I will still look back. Back to high school football games, 3-on-3 basketball tournaments (in which my missed 15-foot jumper is still stuck in my head), summer camps, choir tours, Argentina, the Group, “I Got Five On It”, proms, car accidents, chromies, Independence Day, Taco Bell (every day), Wednesday nights, Ben/Julie/Kulia, arguing over sports teams (Go Devils, Cowboys, Cubs, and Wolves), Les/Tyler/James Mc/Lynch/Tiwa, The SCR, bouncing, Vegas, Conversion, Seminary, overseas/over there, my supporters, finding Sweet Baby, marriage, the baby….Yes, I will still look back. But I try not to look with a gazing eye, wishing for those times again because they were so good (who can argue that life revolving around Taco Bell, hanging with friends, not needing to make money, etc isn’t good??!??!…). But rather I will use those memories to reflect on the journey God has me on, what His purpose was in that, and how to learn from it….

My journey has reached 30. Thank you Lord.

Spirit vs. Flesh: Spiritual Gifts

Lately, addressing the issue of spiritual gifts has come up in my life. I can say that although I periodically have theological shifts, evangelism theory shifts, and callings, I have noticed that my spiritual gifts have remained constant, only changing in how I administer them.

One spiritual gift that I have that is not specifically laid out in Scripture is: encouragement. I have felt the Lord use this many times in my life and as I interact with others. I have come to see that this gift of encouragement generally comes from my overly optimistic view of life and of others. I have finally realized that this gift manifests itself in the Biblical gift of: exhortation. Exhorting can be both for admonishment and encouragement; for building up or confronting. Life has been a fascinating journey with this gift.

I would generally say that exhortation is my main gift, the one I am most comfortable with, the one that come naturally. Other gifts that I use here and there include: discernment (which can go hand in hand with exhortation) and shepherding.

Recently I have been enlightened about the severe nature of spiritual gifts. I hope that you who reads this will ponder and think about what I am about to say if you haven’t already…but, I am guessing you have all have thought about it before, and thus I pray this serves as a reminder of the battle between Spirit and flesh.

I remember recently times when I was exhorting. I was talking about the Scriptural example of Economical Jubilee. I went round and round with this guy, sometimes coming to agreement, sometimes not. In another example, I can remember exhorting a loved one to godly living. I have also exhorted Christian leadership back to a life of prayer. The list can go on and on. As I reflected back on these instances where I think I was using my spiritual gifts, what I realized is that I often slipped into the flesh when exhorting. I ended up sinning as a result of trying to administer a spiritual gift! This confounded me! I then began to realize that there is a fine line to administering our spiritual gifts for God’s glory, or Satan’s. I have learned a hard lesson. I have learned that if I do things without love, the Spirit, grace, mercy, the fruits of the Spirit, then even when I think I am using the gifts God gave me, I am actually denying Him, being self serving, and sinning because I am doing them in the flesh.

So, I can either exhort someone in love and Spirit to follow God, or exhort in judgment and sin of the flesh.

I can either discern the path of Truth thru the Spirit, or lead astray in the flesh.

I can either shepherd in humility and meekness of the Spirit, or in the self-righteousness of the flesh.

God help me to overcome myself and administer gifts from your Spirit of love and give me eyes, wisdom, and a oneness of your Spirit to know when I am slipping into my sinning flesh.

The Priesthood of All Believers

I am reading a book called, “Pagan Christianity,” by George Barna. The book has rocked my world. Some of the book challenges me, some I disagree with, some I label irrelevant, and some makes me sit and ponder. I do know this….I have this unsettling, gnawing at my soul about how church is done now. This book confirmed those feelings, but also showed me that there are others (and not just on the margins of life, but in the “mainstream”) who are battling the same types of feelings. It’s comforting to know that many are dissatisfied.

One of the biggest areas that I feel needs to be addressed inside and outside of the church is that of IDENTITY. Identity plays a huge role in Scripture and the full meaning of it will never be realized this side of heaven, but the implications of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in our lives are immeasurable. Yet, most people are not taught, not enlightened, not engaged, in what it truly means to be a child of God, born of the Spirit, a new creation. Barna taps on this issue in regards to how we do church….

‘The term ‘laity’ is one of the worst in the vocabulary of religion and ought to be banished from Christian conversation.” –Karl Barth

One of the most illuminating, life-giving realizations I came to know when I decided to follow Jesus was the idea of the “priesthood of all Believers”. I understood this to mean that because we now have God dwelling within our hearts (the Holy Spirit), that we were now a “new creation” set apart for God to do His work. This has not been happening in what we call church today. Most Evangelical churches have a pastor (a trained person, usually a man) who stands above everyone on a platform, before up to thousands of people, telling them about the Word of God, God Himself, etc. The audience sits passively and listens, never administering gifts as each has. This type of “church” practice only enhances laziness, apathy, and ineptness. We come to church and are told when to sit, when to stand, when and how to sing (led by a “professional” music director), and then are taught (by a pastor – a professional). And NEVER does anyone interject during a sermon to offer further insight, further relevance, or personal experience/wisdom.

How can something be the “church” when we can come into it and sit passively for up to 2 hours or so and go back home without expressing ourselves? We have been deceived by Satan into these ideas of laity and clergy. The clergy basically monopolizes the church service. It simply isn’t Biblical.

One time I was talking about spiritual things with some people and the conversation went in such a way that some spiritual wisdom was needed. Someone then said to me, “You are the one who went to Seminary, you should answer….”

What if we all truly believed in our hearts that because of what Jesus did, and because of the gift of the Holy Spirit, that we had something more to offer than just showing up at church? What if the church was meant to be all inclusive, each administering gifts as they have been given? What if the church truly integrated all people? What kind of church would we have? This is what I ask, what I seek.

Not Anti-God, But Almost-God

"Most of the ugliness in the human narrative comes from a distorted quest to possess beauty. Coveting begins with appreciating blessings. Murder begins with a hunger for justice. Lust begins with a recognition of beauty. Gluttony begins when our enjoyment of the delectable gifts of God starts to consume us. Idolatry begins when our seeing a reflection of God in something beautiful leads to our thinking that they beautiful image bearer is worthy of worship."

Claiborne and Haw, "Jesus for President".

Why I Left the Republican Party, but Didn't Become a Democrat: The Seamless Garment

The seamless garment is a prominent but puzzling symbol in John’s Gospel. The soldiers cast lots for this garment so they would not have to tear it since “the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from the top” (John 19:23). This seamless garment, like the seamless net (21:11), seems to be a symbol of unity or oneness, the unity that Jesus brought and calls us to live out. The late Joseph Cardinal Bernardin used the seamless garment as an image for a unified or consistent ethic of life. This image challenges us to have a seamless respect for life from the womb to the tomb. This is my story.

A “consistent ethic of life.” This was the resounding word I heard from Scripture, from God, as I embarked down this journey of transformation. Instead of gripping to 2 life issues: abortion and gay marriage, I also found that the Bible had to say a lot about other life issues, such as: war, poverty, capital punishment, euthanasia, universal health care, immigration, nuclear weapons, the environment, racism, AIDS, the poor, the maimed, the widow, and the orphan. When I was younger I saw abortion and gay marriage as the crux of my foundation in which I chose my candidate, or party. I also focused on ultra conservative economic principles like capitalism, consumerism, and the trickle down theory. Then it all changed.

Now I am trying to formulate a biblical, God-fearing approach to how I live my life out in the practical day to day and for the locus of my morals and ethics. So, not only do I stand on moral principles to guide my pro-life platforms and traditional marriage/family platforms, but I also stand on the platform that tells me that it is uncompassionate and inexcusable when thousands of Christians believe in the saying, “God helps those who help themselves”. That when millions upon millions live in the world without access to water, it is a life issue. That it is also a life issue when a country who holds a fraction of the world’s population uses 40% of its resources. It’s a life issue when 6 million children die a year due to malnutrition/starvation related diseases, when 4/10 of 1% of the US budget is used to address world poverty (and guess how much goes to war…), when 47 million people have no health care coverage, when corporate executive incomes are 400x higher than the average worker, when 3.5 million people experience homelessness every year, and 20% of those are military veterans (talk about hypocrisy).

As God widened my understanding of who He is and what He calls for He began developing in me a holistic approach to applying His Word into practice. No longer did I stand only in the gaps of the Religious Right's unbalanced approach to ethical issues. I now understand that life issues are more than just abortion and gay marriage, and as I was finding this out, it hit me like a dear in the headlights that I was no longer a Republican, yet not becoming a Democrat. I realized that as one author puts it (paraphrase)...Republicans draw lines that are never meant to be crossed and that's a good thing, and Democrats erase lines that never should have existed, and that's a good thing. I was somewhere lodged in the middle, hoping to stand with an Evangelical minority (which is fastly becoming a majority), to stand up for what Jesus calls for and to show our "leaders" that this is what we stand for. I say this minority is becoming a majority because as Barna, a leader in Christian research, has just said, "One of the most reliable constituencies of the Republican Party in recent years has been born again Christians. Our latest national survey of likely voters, however, shows that the Republican Party has lost the allegiance of many born again voters. The November election is truly up for grabs - and if the election were held today, most born again voters would select the Democratic Party nominee for president, whoever that might be." We are truly witnessing a shift within Christian ranks to the middle. I am in those ranks.

I don't believe in abortion. I stand against gay marriage. I believe we are to be good stewards of the earth. I believe everyone bears the image of God, even enemies of the United States. I believe we are to take care of the poor, the lame, the widow, and the orphan. I believe no one should go to bed hungry. I believe water should be accessible to everyone. I believe if we say someone else cant have nuclear weapons, then we cant have nuclear weapons. I believe in alternative energy. I believe in gun control. I believe that the Bible says we are all pilgrims and strangers to this earth and that we should embrace strangers when they come into the land, and that we will be judged by how we treat them. I believe that every person should have access to health care. I believe no one should be homeless. I believe minimum wage should be increased. I believe consumerism and big business are inherently evil in that they divide allegiances (see Jesus' statement of God versus mammon). I believe corporate executives and boards should be ashamed of themselves. I believe the "American Dream" is tragically flawed and leads to death. I believe all of these things and more..and that makes me neither Democrat, nor Republican.

I leave this post with this entry:

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I life my lamp beside the golden door." -Statue of Liberty

Why I Left the Republican Party, but Didn't Become a Democrat: The Grace Awakening

Some people say the Sermon on the Mount cannot be taken literally. Why do they say that? They say it is because it tells us to lead a life that is impossible, that is too high of a standard to actually live out. I say all things are possible with God. This is my story.

Although it could be said I became a Believer in junior high (depending on one's theology of justification), the Spirit finally budded in me at the end of my undergraduate days at Arizona State University. I praise and thank God for enduring with me; for being long suffering; for His endless grace. Shortly after this great transformation in my life, I began reading Scriptures for what seemed to be the first time. I also engaged in reading Christian inspirational books for further edification.

The Sermon on the Mount is still my favorite section of the Word. It is hard to put into words, but imagine how the life and words of Jesus shattered my worldview as the Spirit moved in my life. These are the words I read....

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God"

"You have heard it said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you not to resist and evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also."

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth...but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven."

"If anyone desires to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me."

"If you want to be perfect, go sell what you have and give to the poor."

"'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay', says the Lord. Therefore, 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.' Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good."

I kept reading words like this, from the inerrant Word of God (I only scratched the surface of available passages). My worldview began to change. I began questioning long held views of this life I led. I began to see that this world that Jesus lays out for His believers to follow was distinctly, overwhelmingly different than my ultra conservative, Republican world.....

Then one night while at work, I picked up a book during my break called, "Grace Awakening", by Charles Swindoll. Something clicked that night as I read. I was moved, so moved that I wrote all of my friends about what God was doing in my life. Though I do not have the book anymore (I gave it away to a friend), I can still recall its contents even though I read it 7 years ago. Here is the idea Swindoll conveyed about grace....

Imagine this: A thief breaks into your house one night. Among stealing some of your livelihood, he also steals a part of you as when he kills your only daughter. There are three ways one can react to this scenario:

-Revenge: Realizing what the thief has done, as you catch him, you give him what he deserves, and kill him.

-Justice: Realizing what the thief has done, as you catch him, you turn him over to authorities to deal with and he is held accountable for his actions.

-Grace: Realizing what the thief has done, you give him what he doesn't deserve by forgiving him. You even extend grace upon grace and invite him over for dinner.

I don't do Swindoll's version much justice, but you can see how this shattered me. I finally realized through this illustration what grace is all about. Because the fact is that we are all the thief that comes into God's house. We are not worthy of Him, yet He forgives us as we sin against Him, as we put His Son to death, and even invites us over to dinner at His table. Amazing stuff.

Though much of this entry has to do with my personal walk with God, and not much about politics, the one obviously influenced the other. My Walk changed how I viewed life and the world around me. The way of Jesus stands in stark contradiction of the Republican platform, as well as the Democratic. Now you have seen what transformed me, what spark started this road down which I traveled.

Next, how this played out practically in my political views and life.....

Why I Left the Republican Party, but Didn't Become a Democrat: A Republican of Republicans.

I remember slapping on two “George W. Bush for President” stickers on my truck before the election of 2000. I felt one sticker wouldn’t have accurately portrayed my dedication and devotion to the GOP candidate. These stickers were right underneath my Christian “Ichthus”, or fish. Looking back, I can see I was more devoted to the GOP than Jesus. This is my story.

Attending Young Republican meetings were quite fun. They would often be held at ritzy hotels in Scottsdale. About 20-30 of us would stand around snacking, chatting about upcoming events and elections. I rubbed shoulders with some of the most elite Republican politicians in Arizona. I remember specifically speaking to one prominent politician who had held his office for over 20 years. The stories he would talk about in regards to money, personal relations, and personal behavior were dumbfounding. I left the meeting feeling like I could do a better job than this guy in the human decency department. The reason I share this story is that I learned from a young age that Democrats were “morally bankrupt” and held “loose morals”. I learned that night that acting “morally bankrupt” transcended political lines.

Nevertheless, I continued my pursuits in the Republican Party. I desperately wanted to be involved in politics. As I entered college, I started as a Poly-Sci major. Some of my friends and I would go to Republican rallies. I started pushing for internships with various Republican politicians. I started to get my feet wet. I was ready to go, to be a dedicated helper to the GOP in AZ in order to propel my own career into politics someday.

Election night rolled around. November 7th, 2000. My buddy and I were going down to the AZ Republican Headquarters to celebrate what seemed to be likely Bush win over Gore. We slowly watched to election unfold before our eyes. Sometime early in the night, a TV station declared Bush the winner. We were elated. Cheering. Yelling. High fives. Hugs. Everyone was thrilled. About an hour later, the election was back in the air again, up for grabs….Bush’s victory would be delayed. I don’t feel I need to recount the details of the election, I am sure we all remember it well.

The next few weeks and on I sat on pins and needles. All I did was listen to talk radio in the car, surf the net for results and updates when on the computer, and sit in front of my TV watching Fox News when at home. If Gore got in the world would be doomed. Bill Clinton Part II. That is the last thing this country needs. Oh. Praise God. Bush wins….

I share all this to show you how much my life was all about politics, and specifically the GOP. Often when I think about those days and that time in my life, I liken it to the apostle Paul when he declared his stock. “Circumcised the 8th day, of the stock or Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews; concerning the law, a Pharisee; concerning zeal, persecuting the church; concerning righteousness which is in the law, blameless.” I was that in my mind to the GOP. I was soooo devoted, soooo dedicated, no one could question my zeal….I was sold out to the GOP, until death. I would fight for what was right!!

Then, Grace Awakening……